Tuesday 22nd December
FourThousand 126 - the yuletide issue
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WIN: The Thousands Quote Tote! + Tickets to Fantastic Mr Fox
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Cover photo by Goran Jovanovic. If you would like to submit a covershot email rach@rightanglestudio.com.au
500 pencils subscriptions
Faces of Death 2009 t-shirt
Christmas cards by Able & Game
World's largest knife
Zip Zip
The Mag
Hayden Right
Obstacle (Monster Children x GRAZ)
Nerd Boyfriend
The most disappointing thing since my son
Shrigley guitar picks
A Love Letter For You
Bacon wallet
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Summer reading
What:
Summer reading
Where:
In stores and online
When:
Most can be with you before Christmas, or buy a subscription and tell your giftee to wait for it.
How much:
$14.95-$200
Nothing divides sentient humanity like a summer reading list, so I want to clarify that the following books have been chosen according to a unique set of criteria that I made up just then. Will it make me look smart if falls out my bag? Is it waterproof? Can I email the author if I want to ask annoying questions? Can I use it as an excuse for being disorganised about Christmas? In many cases below, the answer is yes.
Read 1: McSweeney's Issue 33, The San Francisco Panorama
Details: US $16 plus shipping from The McSweeney's Store. The most ambitious McSweeney's project ever: they made a newspaper. The newspaper of your dreams.
Read 2: My Name Is Charles Saatchi And I Am An Artoholic
Details: AUD $14.95 at good book shops. Charles Saatchi is the world's most famous art collector. Refuses to be interviewed. These are the only answers he's ever giving. Will fit in your pocket; quite a few mentions of Nigella's boobs.
Read 3: The Thing Quarterly
Details: Current subscriptions US $200 from here. The Thing sends you a piece of art every issue. Recent editions include a window blind by Miranda July that says "When this shade is down I'm not the person you think I am." Current issue: pretend glasses by Jonathan Lethem.
Read 4: Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like These, Amanda Maxwell and Sarah Larnach.
Details: $24 at Serps Press and The Thousands Shop. Amanda should stop what she's doing and write short stories the whole time. We see you Amanda, get back to your desk.
Read 5: The Psychic Soviet, Ian Svenonius
Details: Prices vary wildly, Sunshine & Grease and Drag City. Waterproof collection of philosophical rants by Ian Svenonius, published by Drag City. If you don't know who Ian Svenonius is lucky it's waterproof because imma dump this bucket of beans on you.
Format: Other
Genre: Other
PAM Holiday Season tees
What:
PAM Holiday Season 2009 Collaboration Tees
Where:
The Outpost, 5a Winn St, Fortitude Valley
How much:
$88
Just as I was sitting down to tell you all about this awesome collaboration between designers PAM and artist Mark Borthwick, a dude broke into my house - or my back landing - whatever, it was scary. What did this piss-fucker steal? Nothing. Because I donned a Donkey Dove Tee and and frightened him off. He actually puked at the sheer panic of it all (true story).
Basically, PAM tees are life-savers. And they're comfortable. Included in the range of 2009 Holiday Season shirts, you'll find third eyes, donkeys with mysterious feathers, and the words "We've Lost Control" in awesome typeset. When you've got Australia-based designers being retailed in London and Paris, you know you're onto a winner. Scare off the bruisers with PAM this summer.
Location: Inner East
Price: $10 - $100
Product Type: Clothes
Keywords: Pam, T-shirt, The Outpost
Enoggera Tce Bazaar # 3
What:
Enoggera Tce Bazaar # 3
Where:
Ithaca Hall, cnr of Enoggera and Kennedy Tce, Red Hill
When:
Tues Dec 22, 6-9pm
How much:
$5 entry comes with a glass of wine
Oh come all ye vintage faithful, this silent Tuesday night to a little inn on Enogerra Terrace. Where three wise ladies have gathered to deck the halls with Brisbane's best vintage and crafts for a night of Xmas shopping and record playing.
The third in a series of Bazaars brought to you by Cheap Frills, here you'll find mens' and womens' vintage, retro and quality second hand clothes, jewellery, bric-a-brac, hand made crafts and other delights. Remember Pannikin? Holly will be there with her cute-as-a-button wears. Some interesting illuminations will be for sale from a mystery peddler who reworks lighting. Joined by the supreme findings from WIFE, 4MAN4WOMAN and friends.
If you've already done all your Xmas shopping (who the hell are you? Mrs Claus?) then you're always going to need one more summer outfit before you flee Brisbane for greener holiday pastures.
Location: Western Suburbs
Product Type: Market
Bags!
What:
Bags!
Where:
In stores and online
When:
Most can be with you before Christmas
How much:
$3-$490
As much as we like to think of ourselves as unhindered, wireless creatures from the future, the amount of stuff we lug around gets more ridiculous by the minute. Ever tried leaving the house without a bag? Nuts. Or even a spare bag to go in that bag, just in case you get more stuff? Forget about it. Here are a few of the nicest totes'n'stuff carriers we've spotted of late:
Bag 1. Note To Self totes
Details: $80-$120, The Thousands Shop, individually crafted Japanese selvage denim totes.
Bag 2. The Outpost tote
Details: $3!, The Outpost, 5a Winn St, Fortitude Valley. Cotton calico enviro bag, free if you spend over $100 on gifts for yourself.
Bag 3. Nieves Tote
Details: $22, from Teeluxe online. Will carry loads of zines, only limited run in white!
Bag 4. Mr Kayak leather shoulder bag
Details: $490, Violent Green, Shop 9, Elizabeth Arcade & Fallow, L11, 354 Brunswick St, Fortitude Valley. Made by NZ bag experts Deadly Ponies. This one is a roll-down leather multi-use bag, with brass hardware.
Bag 5. Kanken Backpack
Details: US $80 + shipping, Oooga Booga store, LA. These Swedish beauties make backpacks look good again.
Location: Online
Price: $10 - $100
Product Type: Accessories
Fantastic Mr Fox
What:
Fantastic Mr Fox
Where:
In cinemas from January 1
Watch the trailer:
Here
Win:
Thanks to Fox, we have 3 dbls to give away! To enter, email win@fourthousand.com.au with the subject ‘If you're gonna cuss, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!'
I was dubious about Wes Anderson's take on Roald Dahl's darkly gleeful caper about a cheeky fox who steals from three awful farmers. But Anderson's mannered directorial trademarks work well with the stop-motion animation. There are funny sight gags and quotable lines aplenty, including perhaps the best thing anyone's ever said to Jarvis Cocker in years: "That was a bad song."
George Clooney's not an Anderson regular, but casting him in the title role as a vulpine Danny Ocean was a work of intertextual genius. With his reckless charm, he plays well against Meryl Streep's sardonically sexy Mrs Fox. In a subplot invented for the film, Jason Schwartzman is Fox's misfit son Ash, who's passive-aggressively cruel to his overachieving cousin Kristofferson (Eric Chase Anderson). But their rivalry enriches rather than distracts from the plot.
Bill Murray feels under-used here as Fox's lawyer mate Badger, but most other roles are delightful, especially Willem Dafoe's "when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way" take on Rat. Charming, beautifully detailed, free of fatuous self-consciousness and completely in the spirit of its source material, Fantastic Mr Fox is Wes Anderson's best movie in years.
Format: Cinema
Genre: Other
Keywords: Wes Anderson
Hohner Blues Harmonica in Key of C
What:
Hohner Blues Harmonica in Key of C
Where:
Most music stores, definitely try your Allens
How much:
Around $55
Related links:
Do not play it like PM
"I got them waken' up late, sleeping' past alarm, milk's not expired but tastes like last November, bruised apple that smacks of flour, spinning wheel of death, 19 dollars in my bank account, bills with disconnection warning, dropped my fork on the floor, gotta get to an appointment, left the lights on in the car, now it's got a flat battery, waiting for a bus in the rain with inside-out umbrella and a hole in my sole, stepped into a puddle, too crowded for me to get on and my pocket's dropping change, late for the doctor whose got some news for me, snapped handle on my shopping bag, keys in opposite pocket blues."
We all get the blues and one sure-fire way to get rid of them blues is with a genuine, bona fide blues extractor. Wrap your gums around aharp, turn that frown upside down and those blues into Blues.
Hohner Blues Harmonica in Key of C. (Tip: Start in C, the rest will follow.) Rating. Excruciating to nonchalantly cool.
Location: Other
Price: $10 - $100
Product Type: Other
Keywords: Blues
Barracks Butchery
What:
Barracks Butchery
Where:
61 Petrie Tce (top of Caxton Street)
When:
Mon-Fri 7.30am-6pm (8pm Thurs), Sat 7.30am-4pm, Sun 10am-4pm
How much:
Value for money
Contact:
3367 0350
Meat lovers, this summer take it a step up from the Coles snags for your BBQ and try Bernie's at Barracks Butchery. These sausages actually have meats he can name in them - trust him, this is good news.
If you really want to take pride in your festive meat offerings Bernie's are gourmet all the way. Take it from us, if his hormone free chickens used face cream - it'd be the diamond sort that George Michael buys for Anne (her?) in Arrested Development. Bernie also stocks free-range yagaburne beef, certified Angus and many a special game meats available on request.
The man goes the extra mile by enhancing a broad selection of meats to alleviate preparation time - he's got dinner marinated, sliced or diced and waiting for you - coated in a bunch of herbs you'll never be able to grow.
Get the shrimp off the barbie and make room for Bernie.
Location: CBD
Price: $10 - $100
Product Type: Other
Keywords: Meat, Gourmet, The Barracks
Aunty Marg's Rum Balls
What:
Aunty Margs' Rum Balls
Where:
Your table this Christmas
How much:
Depends on how posh you get with the rum
I grew up in a dry house. It wasn't that my parents were recovering alcoholics, just God-fearing squares. The closest thing we got to alcohol at Chistmas was a bottle of rose Maison (that shit isn't alcoholic by the way, Mum) or when the black sheep of the family, my vivacious Aunty Marg, would bring a plate of loaded rum balls to share. Here's her recipe (makes about 30 balls):
Ingredients:
8 weet-bix
2 tabs cocoa (make them nice and heaped)
1 tin condensed milk
1 cup sultanas / raisins
5 tbs dark rum (ok here's where I think Aunty Marg got a bit loose - most recipes have only 1, so add more weet-bix if mixture is too moist)
1 cup desiccated coconut
Extra coconut for rolling
Method:
1. crush weet-bix in a large bowl
2. add remaining ingredients
3. stir well
4. roll into desired sized balls and coat in coconut
5. freeze
Now you can use just about any kind of rum, but if you want to be all fancy pants about it - use a top-shelf rum, with the remainder you can try your hand at a batch of eggnog.
PS: Martha Stewart's recipe also gives Aunty Margs' a run for its money.
Location: Other
Venue Type: DIY
Adopting a dog
What:
Adopting a dog
Where:
Best Friends Rescue, all over Brisbane
When:
Wait until after Christmas when the abandoned pets arrive, or when you're ready.
How much:
About $250 for starters
Ever since fleeing the family home all those years ago, I have felt something missing from my life. Spare cash? Certainly. Home cooked meals? That too. Aside from all that, a certain gentle presence has been lacking, in the shape of a Jack Russell Terrier. Those little bundles of unconditional love, who literally wet themselves when you open the door and to whom the prospect of going for a walk with you is brain-meltingly exciting. And when you're feeling down or simply a bit tired, they smile at you with their kind eyes, jump onto your lap and go to sleep.
After years of searching, I finally found my trusty sidekick Tess last week and instantly, life is better. She has a few neuroses to iron out, but so would you if you were dumped by your family and lived in a cage for the last couple of months. She's so happy and thankful to have a new home; it's a joy to behold.
Sure, it's a huge responsibility and I have no doubt there will be times when she drives me nuts. Regardless, I cannot recommend adopting a dog highly enough. Give Best Friends Rescue a call this summer, I dare you. You'll know when you see yours!
Ambience: Other
Location: Urban
Keywords: Pets
Lover
Employer:
Lover
Position:
Design assistant
Where and when:
Sydney, early 2010
Apply:
Send a resume and 1 to 3 low-res examples of your work to jobs@loverthelabel.com by Jan 11.
Lover is the quirky pairing of Susien Chong and Nic Briand. They design covetable femme fashion with a romantic twist. Charlotte Gainsbourg even wants to slip into their swimmers on the silver screen! Lover loves Leonard Cohen, milk chocolate and Picnic at Hanging Rock... and now they want to love you too!
A rare opportunity has been created for a design assistant to join the team at Lover. Susien and Nic say the role will require:
- creative flair
- design talent
- problem solving and multi-tasking skills
- (all the things you have!)
You will be working beside both creative directors on concept through to final design, fittings and sample co-ordination. A design degree in fashion is essential. Photoshop and Illustrator skills would be a plus. A passion for music, film, art, and popular culture will help no end. This position will give the successful applicant room to grow within the role and the company. Be a lover, not a you know what.
By Us.
Woodford Folk Festival
Where:
87 Woodrow Rd, Woodford
When:
Sun Dec 27 - Fri Jan 1
How much:
$94 - $454, tickets here
Description:
We all know about Woodford, but let's face it. The same party that you go to every year in New Farm is going to be the same as the party you go to every year in New Farm. If you feel like a break from it, why not get a little bit "where the wild things are" out in the woods for the new year. You'll hear the likes of The Middle East, The Hungry Kids of Hungary, and see the works of Dadang Christanto and more. - SW
Keywords: Woodford, Folk Festival, New Years
Cat Power NYE
What:
Cat Power, Mexico City and The Middle East NYE
Where:
Brisbane Powerhouse, 119 Lamington St, New Farm
When:
Thurs Dec 31, 8pm-12.30am
How much:
$60 here
Description:
You'd think that with song names like Werewolf on an album named You Are Free, you'd be in some tween's dream, but Chan Marshall deserves more credit than that. Werewolf was pre-R-Patz. Her back-up band for this tour includes Jim White (Dirty Three) and Judah Bauer (Blues Explosion), so you're not being dealt the dirty hand. If Cat Power plays Brisbane on NYE, you better believe it'll be mighty. - SW
Keywords: Powerhouse, NYE, Cat Power
AMPED NYE
What:
AMPED NYE
Where:
Dreamworld
When:
Thus Dec 31, 7pm - late
How much:
$89 here
Description:
OK, so we usually won't condone this type of stretch-hummer attracting party, but I Heart Hiroshima are playing and it's Dreamworld at NIGHT time, with booze, bright lights and what have you. This is actually a pretty darn good chance for a winner NYE. Regurgitator are playing too, alongside British India. Grab your vodka cruiser and scream like the giggling 18 year old you are deep down. Just remember to hold back your girlfriends hair when she has a spew after The Claw. Happy New Year! - RS
Keywords: Dreamworld
Words don't come easy and in June, Max (Assistant Editor of our sister publication ThreeThousand) wrote an article on a bag that was so good that we have decided to make another bag just to honour it. It's called The Thousands Quote Tote and it is the first in the series of bags using our words and the skills of designer and bag-maker extraordinaire Hannah Chipkin from Chip Chop.
Screen printed on canvas beach bag and produced in a limited edition The Thousands Quote will sold exclusively through The Thousands Shop website which will be launching very soon. In the mean time we have one bag - valued at $50 - to give away. This week's question:
The Quote Tote is...
a) not your average weekender
b) toting the shit out of your stuff, all over town
c) freaking out all the squares
Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@fourthousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry! Not a subscriber? It's free you bananas! Sign up here.
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